September 16, 2013

“The Rules” – Some Japanese Women Love






Have you heard about “The Rules”? Or have you read it before? It is a book written by Ellen Fein, and it is a book for women who want to find the right man.


Introducing some rules in “The Rules” book……

Rule #4: 
Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date.

Rule #12: 
Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day.

Rule #15: Don’t Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy

Rule #17: Let Him Take The Lead

Rule #34: Love Only Those Who Love You

The first 20 chapters are mostly about how to let him take the initiative first. So a woman who follows “The Rules” may keep herself cool even though she really likes you. Accordingly, she is supposed to be patient and pay attention to how much you are caring about her. The book states to its readers, who are mostly women, that if they follow the guidelines laid out in “The Rules”, your marriage will last forever with happiness.

Actually, I did not read this book before getting married, so I may not have been a “Rules Girls”. However, I have recently read this book and learned much about creating successful dating and marriage. I agree with many parts of “The Rules”.

Most Japanese women expect men to take the initiative, and yet many men tend to be very busy and often don’t think about how to entertain their dates. If you have never succeeded in your dating, reading “The Rules” book may help you in learning what women expect.

Since the series of “The Rules” were translated into the Japanese language, there are many Japanese women who are crazy about “The Rules.” If so, it is very likely that your candidates might be a follower of this book and is checking how you treat her.

If your goal is “Marriage”, learning women’s underlying psychology is the key to success.



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August 28, 2013

Japanese Women Would Like to Meet Men Who Take the Initiative


We received the following inquiry from a woman last week.

先週、女性から、こんなご質問をいただきました。


What is the reason that MJL male members come and visit Japan to meet female members?

何故、アメリカ(海外)に住む男性が
女性に会うためにワザワザ日本に来るのですか?


Here is our answer.

下記がその答えになります。

As is stated in MJL’s Full Membership Requirements, “Male members must come to Japan to meet female member(s) when they feel chemistry after communicating a couple of months.”

男性がメンバーシップにサインする際に
“よいご縁があれば日本に来る”
ということが、条件のひとつになっているからです。


This requirement means that as our Full Member, we do not accept male clients who say that:
I don’t want to visit Japan to meet Japanese women!
I don’t want to pay for the travel expense!
Women should come to meet me first!
It is not necessary!

言い換えると
ワザワザ日本には行きたくないよ!
渡航費用がばかばかしい!
女性がこっちに来ればいいじゃないか!
日本に行く必要などない!
と、おっしゃる男性は
基本的にメンバーにはしていないのです。


Fortunately, most of our male members take it for granted that they will visit Japan since they are sincerely looking for a “marriage partner”. Many of them visit Japan several times since they love Japan and Japanese culture.

幸い、MJLの男性メンバーのほとんどが
日本人女性との結婚に真剣であれば
来日は当然であると考えます。


The first meeting may be a gamble for all members since there is no guarantee of success. However, women may feel inclined to use this first meeting as a test to see if men will take the initiative in traveling to Japan. We believe that women will be happier if they marry responsible men than men who expect her to take the initiative.

初めてのミーティングはうまくいくという保障がありませんので
誰にとってもリスクが高いですが
女性は将来、夫となる人がリスクを取れるか?ということを確かめたいのです。
そして、責任感のある男性と結婚した方が、女性にリスクをとらせようとする男性よりも
幸せになれると、わたしたちは信じています。


We appreciate that our male members understand our policy. And we believe that this policy creates a greater level of understanding for all of our members, both men and women.

そのことを理解していただける男性
わたしたちのポリシーをリスペクトくださる男性のみ
メンバーになっていただいています。


If we find that one of our male members does not visit Japan to meet his candidates within six months since they started communicating by email, we will discuss with him to make sure that he is really serious about his membership. Depending on how the male member responds to our inquiry, MJL will decide whether to remove his membership.

わたしたちのポリシーを理解されていないな、この男性!
ということが途中でわかった場合に、
Kaiwa-USAの判断で
メンバーを辞めていただくこともあります。


MJL is different than the thousands of dating sites on the internet, in that our goal is to create happy marriages. We do this by only allowing people to join who are serious about getting married. 

インターネット上にはいわゆる出会い系のサイトが
星の数ほど存在する今日この頃ですが

男性(女性も!)がどれだけ真剣に
結婚相手を探すということに取り組んでいるか?
ということが幸せな結婚のキーとなります。


We only accept male and female clients who are sincerely looking for their future life with a true love. After all, honesty must be the foundation to the beginning of any new relationship.

ふたりの将来にきちんと向き合える方だけメンバーとして登録いただく。
今後も、このポリシーを守りたいとわたしたちは考えています。



We are always happy to assist you in finding your dream Japanese woman and we wish you good luck!

Naoko Matsumoto
松本直子



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August 01, 2013

Our Royal Baby Was Born!


The news of the Royal Baby Birth was recently announced and we are all glad to hear the happy news! 

Congratulations!!!

At about the same time, we heard the news of “Our Royal Baby Girl Was Born!”

One of our happy couples wrote to us that their second baby girl was born at about the same time as the Royal Birth.

We are so excited and happy for them!




The father is happy to be a papa of his two daughters. I saw the photo he sent to me in which the outer corner of his eyes is nearly down to the cheeks as he grins with delight while holding his new born baby girl.
He gave us a permission to share his photo.

“We are engaged!”
“Our baby is born!”
“We are very happy!”

Hearing such words makes me happy and fulfilled to be working as a matchmaker.



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July 22, 2013

Moving to New Country is Challenging for Career Focused Spouse


We had two happy couples who got engaged last month. Congratulations to them both! We are very happy for them!


One of the female members who got engaged, is very focused on her career. Japanese men usually prefer to marry a woman who is a housewife type. So, it is not easy for a woman like her who has a successful career to find the right man. In addition, once she meets the ideal man, choosing marriage usually means that she must give up her career when they relocate to her fiancé’s country. 


In this situation, here are two possible solutions:

  1. The couple decides to live in his country. She gives up her career in Japan and start a new career in his country. In order to do this, she will most likely need to attend a university to obtain a degree or certificate. 
  2. The couple decides to live in Japan. He gives up his career in his country and he starts a new career in Japan. This may mean going to school for training or limits the number of jobs that he can apply for.


Fortunately, they decided to start a new life in Japan. It is still a challenging situation for him since he is looking for a job in Japan.

However, the most important thing is that they support each other and they are so happy being together! 



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July 21, 2013

Surrender and the Universe Will Answer Your Desires


We had two happy couples who got engaged last month. Congratulations to them both! We are very happy for them!


One of the male members who got engaged, first became our FULL MEMBER more than three years ago. In the beginning we worked with him in finding his Japanese wife for one year. However, he was not successful. He didn’t renew his membership and he decided to try on his own.


After a year or so, he came back to MJL and told us that he would like to start with us again.


This time he decided to proceed with our service differently. He told us, “The first time I registered with MJL, I was trying to choose a woman. I think that is why it didn’t work for me. This time, I will try to be chosen by one of your female members. Naoko san, please let me know when one of your female members is interested in me!”


I really think that “LETTING YOURSELF BE CHOSEN” is the better way to find your lifelong partner. Unfortunately, most male members follow the opposite way where they try to “CHOOSE THE BEST ONE”, which is not as successful.


He realized that following the western mentality of trying to control the situation made things worse and did not bring about happiness for anyone. After this realization he decided to try the opposite way of “SURRENDERING TO THE UNIVERSE” and asking for assistance from MJL’s matchmaker, Naoko. This instilled his mind with a new outlook with trust and belief in other people and the world that things would work for him this time. And they did! This is the reason he finally found his life partner.


He declared, “Naoko san ARIGATO!”

I am so happy for both of our recent couples!



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June 23, 2013

How Our “Two Weeks Reply Rule” Works - Being Responsible Is Most Important


We appreciate that most of our male and female members are very responsible since they are NOT looking for boyfriends/girlfriends but they are sincerely looking for their lifelong partner.

However, some members do not communicate with us or other members for a long time. This does not create a trusting environment and creates confusion among our other members. We truly need members whose priority is finding their future partner. 

So, we have decided to implement a new rule called “Two Weeks Reply Rule” for all members. 

Here is how it works. If we haven’t received a reply from a member within two weeks, your status will be changed to an “inactive” member, and your profile will be turned off until you contact us. It means that you will not be able to browse our members’ detailed profiles nor communicate with them. However, we are still open to you whenever you have time to talk with us.

Also, if our male members do not reply to a contact request from one of our female members within two weeks, we will automatically send a “decline” reply to her. In addition, your account will be changed to an “inactive” member until you contact us.

We believe that this new “Two Weeks Reply Rule” will create clear communication and fairness for all of our members.

We believe that being responsible is a most important quality in creating a harmonious relationship.

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June 22, 2013

Announcement – Naoko Will Be in Portland Oregon!


Dear MJL Client,

We inform you that Naoko will be in Portland Oregon as following schedule.

Thu July 4th 2013 to Sun July 14th 2013

Inquiry by Telephone/email:
During this time, we are unable to receive your phone call, but we are able to read and reply to you by email. (It can be slower than usual, sorry.) If you would like to talk with one of our staff members, please call our Tokyo office (M-F 10am-5pm JPT)

20 minutes Skype Consultation:
Naoko is NOT able to schedule a 20 minutes skype consultation during this time. Please ask  Luna for the appointment.  



Naoko will get back to Baltimore on Sun July 14, and she will catch up on working with her regular schedule by the end of the week.

We are sorry for this inconvenience.


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June 21, 2013

A Friend Relationship Does Not Exist If You Are Looking for a Lifelong Partner


When men decline having relationships with women, they think they should be polite so they say, “I would like to be your friend.”


Men believe that they are being kind to women by offering friendship, but in reality being friends creates unfortunate situations where women are still expecting men to come back to them even though the men have moved on.


If you are no longer interested in her, it would be better to clearly say “NO” to her.  You may feel guilty or feel bad in the short term, but in the long term your clear word of “NO” will encourage her to move on and find someone else. 


Some men keep women as friends, but if you are really looking for a future wife, having many girlfriends doesn’t make sense. Keeping in touch with women whom you do not really love makes trouble between you and a woman you love or you are going to love. She may feel disloyal to a you if you keep many women as friends.


If you would like to meet the right woman, say “NO” to the woman you do not feel any chemistry with and close the door firmly, and move on as soon as possible. Erase her email address, remove her as a Facebook friend,  and remove her from  your online social network. In this way you are clearly starting that you are ready for a new woman to come into your life.


It might be hard for you, but it is the best way and quickest way to find the right woman for you.


When you decline, stop making FRIEND RELATIONSHIPS and you will find your ONE and ONLY soon.



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June 03, 2013

The More Selections You Have, The More Difficult to Choose



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pq5jnM1C-A

Here is a lecture titled: Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar.

In her study, 
she has found that it is difficult for people to choose when there are too many choices. 

I agree with this study, and have seen the same dynamics play out with men & women who want to meet many candidates, but ultimately cannot make any decision on choosing a partner. And, on the opposite perspective, men & women who want to meet a few nice candidates quickly meet a partner and decide to marry. In our 15 years of business experience of matchmaking service, this is typically what happens. 

I think this video will help you understand the science of choosing.


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June 02, 2013

Japan’s Group Dating (gokon) Culture



Here is an interesting VLOG.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkGgHvZbbXY


Chika grew up in Seattle, but she lives in Japan now. She speaks English and Japanese and she teaches English and American culture to Japanese people. She also teaches Japanese language and culture to non Japanese people through this VLOG.

I hope you will learn about the typical Japanese group dating culture called “gokon”. It helps teach the participants how to behave with their first meeting with a Japanese woman in Japan.


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May 19, 2013

Is “AWESOME” a Good Word to Use in a Conversation Between You and Your Date?


One of my girlfriends in California, who is her mid-thirties often says, “Sounds Awesome!” I like to hear that kind of positive word since she is always happy and encouraging her friends around her.

I recently introduced the phrase, 
“Sounds Awesome!”, in my newsletter for female members because I thought “Sounds Awesome!” is a miracle phrase to make their email conversation vivid and male members who hear this word are going to be happy. I thought that “Sounds Awesome!” sounds much more human than just use “Sounds Great.”

Right after I sent my newsletter to our female members, one of our readers (She is Japanese), who is not one of our members,  wrote to me that it would be better NOT to use 
“Sounds Awesome!” when communicating with native speakers of English. She believes that “Sounds Awesome!” is a kind of slang, and it “Sounds Awful” if professional men hear that phrase. She said that she belongs to an organization of English education in JAPAN.

I would like to ask all professional men who are English native speakers about this topic.

Is it a bad idea for Japanese women to use “Sounds Awesome” when communicating with their dates?

Does it sound childish or immature?

I asked my ESL teacher in California, and he said that using “Sounds Awesome” is not that bad, but it is still slang, so it would be better to consider who you are speaking to and where you are with him. He also suggested not to use “Awesome” in a business meeting.

I understand.

I am so curious about learning new words, so I also asked some of my friends and here is my understanding of what they thought.  
I would like to know more about the word 
“Awesome” 


For example, if both A and B are teenagers, and A is showing his new motorcycle to B.
A: Hey, this is my new motorcycle!
B: That’s Awesome!
I understand it is natural if “Awesome!” is in teenagers’ conversation.

n another example, if both A and B are adults, and a guy gives his girlfriend a gift in a fancy restaurant.
A: Happy birthday! Here is my birthday gift to you…..
B: WOW…. That’s Awesome!!!!
Do you think she is childish?
Do you think she should say “That’s MARVELOUS!!!” instead? (I was taught the word MARVELOUS, but I have never heard that American people use this word in their everyday conversation.  Is it British English?????)


Generally speaking, do you think that adults should not use the word 
“Awesome”  in everyday conversation? I am still questioning if 
“Awesome”  is such a poor word choice?????


I also asked my husband, and he explained, that he sees these positive words as progressing from lower to highest levels of power:
Good < Great < Super < Awesome.
He feels that “Awesome” is more expressive than good, great, or super. He also believes that anyone is free to use words they want as this is an honest expression of that person.

I also asked my mother in law who is in her 70’s. She personally doesn’t use the word “Awesome!” but she feels enthusiastic when she hears the word from someone.





Right after I asked her, she gave me a newspaper article which had the word “Awesome”. If it is used in a newspaper article, it means that it is an acceptable word, which leads me to think that awesome is not a poor word choice even though it is slang. But I am still unclear about how to use the word “Awesome” .

I asked one guy in SNS who is an AMERICAN living in JAPAN. He said you shouldn't use “Awesome”  in your business meeting.

I noticed that all of them didn’t say that “Awesome” is only for adults.

I understand that we must use language differently in time, place, and occasion (private vs. public). However, English is not the first language for Japanese people; we need to learn everyday English more than English in the text book. I mean if Japanese people get used to the verbal English, communicating with native English speakers would be more natural.

A language lives in each moment and words and phrases are always changing since human beings were born. I think it would be great to use words and phrases that are vivid, and it helps to create more dynamic relationships with others than using ordinary words. I learned the word “Marvelous” in the textbook when I lived in Japan, but unfortunately, I do not have many opportunities to hear it in my life in the US. People study Shakespeare, but I don’t think many people speak Shakespearean English in the 21st century.

ANYWAY, I would like to ask all my blog readers if it sounds fine or childish for a 30 year old woman to say “Awespme!” to her boyfriend when she receives a gift?

Thank you for your help!!!!
Naoko 


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May 18, 2013

Announcing MJL’s New Membership Fees


As we have previously announced, MJL’s membership fees will be changing soon.
Hereis a chart of MJL’s new membership fees. (Click to see)

Obviously, you will get a great deal if you enroll today as a new member. Also, if you are currently a full member, renewing your membership now is also a good deal too. If you wait too long, you will miss out on these special savings.

We recently have a lot of successful couples since we started monthly coaching sessions for our female members. We will also start this service for male members when the new system starts. Discussing about the issues between male and female members will help to create harmonious relationships for all members. And we are sure it works!

If you are still thinking about becoming a member, please contact us as soon as possible.
We look forward to having you as a member and letting us assist you in finding your ideal Japanese woman soon!


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May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day ♥



Last Sunday, I had a nice time with my son and my husband. 
It was my 4th Mother's Day 


I appreciate that I became a mother because of my husband!!!



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May 10, 2013

In Japan, Hague Convention Will Be Approved Soon



Hague Convention will be approved in Japan very soon.
I think this is a good news for you.


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May 09, 2013

KODOMO NO HI - The Children's Day in JAPAN



May 5th is the CHILDREN's DAY in JAPAN. It is a National holiday in Japan. We celebrate for children. The object which my son is having is called KOINOBORI. KOI=Carp. Old Japanese people wish their children to grow strongly like a carp swiming against the torrent. 

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May 06, 2013

Mayfair in USA





Mayfair event at our son's pre kinder. It was our first experience, and we enjoyed it very much!

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April 22, 2013

Interviewing Female Members is What Sets MJL Apart


One important distinction with MJL’s service, that no other comparable business performs, is that we interview our female members.
私たちのユニークな取り組みのひとつとして
女性ひとりひとりにインタビューを行うことをしています。


Before signing up to become Full Members with us, all of our female members have already had an interview at our Tokyo office or on skype.
フルメンバーになる前にオフィスに来てもらって
あるいはSKYPEにて話をすることで

This interview with our female members serves several important functions. First, the interview allows MJL to clearly understand if our female members are sincerely looking for a marriage partner for a long term relationship.
女性が真剣にパートナーを探しているのかどうか?
ということがはっきりわかります。


Secondly, this interview also works as a screening tool, allowing MJL to determine if our female members meet our membership standards. We do not accept all females as MJL members. After talking with one of our staff members in Tokyo, we decide if we can accept them as our member. 
東京オフィスの担当者宮田と話してみて
全ての女性を受け入れるわけではありません。


We give great preference to female clients who have a peaceful personality, who want to make an effort to create happy marriages, who can communicate well with an open mind, and also who show Japanese spirit and loyalty to their future husbands.
 幸せな結婚に結びつけるために努力を惜しまない方
男性の気持ちを理解できる方
日本人としての誇りを持っている方を選んで
メンバーとして受け入れています。


Conversely, we do not accept women simply because they are beautiful and model like. We place great emphasis on women who communicate well. So, women who display difficulty with communication are not likely to be chosen. We believe that the most important element for creating a happy marriage is how well a person communicates.
姿は美しくてもコミュニケーションが難しい方は
インタビューに来ていただいても
審査で落とされることもあります。



Since MJL believes in the thoroughness of our interview process, we are proud to introduce all MJL’s female members to all our male members.
その結果
私たちがメンバーとして受け入れた全ての女性は
自身を持って男性のみなさまにご紹介できます。



One of our goals at MJL is to create great relationships with both our male and female members forming a happy circle made up of all of our successful couples, who are happy and maintain their marriages for a lifetime.
また、よいご縁だけをご紹介することができるので
結婚してからもうまく行くことが多いです。



Therefore, our divorce rate has been zero percent since we started this service for over 14 years. MJL is very proud of this fact.
この仕事をスタートしてから
離婚したカップルがひとつも無いということが
私たちの自慢です。



It takes time and effort, but we believe that interviewing members is a very important part of MJL’s service, and allows us to welcome nice people into our happy circle.  We will never take short cuts for short term gain. 
インタビューは時間も手間もかかりますが
私たちはこの作業を省略することはしません。


MJL’s interview process is an important way MJL creates a better value for its members and helps to set us apart from all other similar businesses.
これは、ただのDATINGサイトとの大きな違いです。



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April 08, 2013

Open Yourself to The Universe, and Good Things Will Happen - To Be Chosen or To Choose


One of our male members visited one of our female members last week. To make a long story short, they met at our office, got along together, and they decided to step up to an exclusive relationship which means that they changed their membership status “PINK HEART”

Actually, it was the second time that he became our Full Member. Once before he gave up and cancelled our Full Membership and decided to find his love by himself.  However, he didn't find a good chemistry with anyone he met. So, he returned to PJM and became our Full Member again last year. At that time, he told me, “Naoko san, I will not choose any women, but I will accept any women if they choose me.” I thought it was a great idea, and we followed his relationships’ activities. As he had previously stated, he didn’t make any contact requests, and he received some contact requests from our female members. He decided to communicate with one woman with special interest.

Finally, he came to our Tokyo Office to meet with her in person last month. It was the best time for their first meeting since the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. The utter beauty of the cherry blossoms lent a romantic atmosphere to their surroundings!

After their first meeting they said that they felt a strong chemistry between them and they decided to go to the next step to create a deeper relationship.

That's FANTASTIC!

There are many men and women who try to meet as many candidates as possible. As a result of that they cannot choose one, or they believe there must be more and more beautiful women for them but it usually doesn’t work out that way.

I think the reason he succeeded in finding his ideal woman at this time is because he didn’t choose her, rather he accepted the woman who selected him. It might be called “SURRENDER”, and god selected the best one for him.

If you have spent a long time in “CHOOSING ONE”, stop it and just “SURRENDER”! God in your universe will select the right person for you! You can help the process by envisioning the type of person you want to be with.



If you are a full member and struggle to meet the right partner, please feel free to make an appointment with Naoko or Luna to discuss your match. Talking with you, creating your solution, and making you and your Japanese partner happy is our mission!





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March 28, 2013

Would You Really Like to Get Married or Are You Looking for Just a Girlfriend?


This is an important message to men who have been communicating with one woman for three months or longer. We highly recommend that you meet her in Japan. It really helps you and her to get to know each other more completely, and it will help you both to decide if you want to take your relationship to the next level with either a commitment or a decline. A decline would allow you to start with a new candidate.



Some male members take time to make this kind of decision, and it is rather common for men to hold onto a digital relationship for years with no visit Japan. As a result of that, many female members are struggling since Japanese women tend to wait for men’s decision first. They believe that showing their loyalty is most important in creating great relationships.  


Too often, I have seen many men just keep women as friends, only chitchatting with them when they have free time. Some men may want to enjoy being single, and they just take advantage of women by being with them whenever they need girlfriends. I understand that making a decision may be difficult, and men do not tend to marry in a short amount of time.


However, we are not a dating service, so we strictly state that male members must take action to visit Japan after spending at least three months communicating with her by email or on skype. Also, we recommend that our male members visit Japan within at least six months of the initial introduction to meet her in person.

Do you think our policy is too strict?


Actually, time is important for women as they have an age limit for having children and their beauty, which most men desire, will not last forever.

We recommend to our female members that if the man whom she is corresponding with does not take action, show his love, or make plans to visit her in Japan in three months since they start communicating, it would be best to consider moving on from him and looking for new prospects.


We feel that our policy makes sense, since we are NOT a dating site; rather we are a marriage introduction agency. And as such, we provide a Goal Oriented Service for all members who are looking for a Happy Marriage.



Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

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March 13, 2013

Japanese Women Who Chose International Marriage: Kumiko Goto

Do you know Kumiko Goto?


She is a Japanese former singer, actress, model. She used to be a symbol of  Japanese Beautiful Girls(国民的美少女). She abandoned her artistic career in 1995 when she married the French racing driver Jean Alesi. They livein

Please check her photos. She is really Japanese Beauty!!!
Kumiko Goto:  http://bit.ly/XIVXrQ
Jean Alesi:  http://bit.ly/WnAlk2


Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore

Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo

Japanese Women vs Chinese Women



Japanese Women vs Chinese Women

This is an interesting article!
 

The author of this article is prberbly Chinese,  so I disagree #3 as a Japanese woman’s ppoint of view.

Japanese women usually believe marrying foreigners is a kind of disgrace.

Chinese women usually feel that marrying foreigners is a kind of infinite glory.

 

But to totally I agree #8!!!

Most young Japanese girls will find a man who is around their age to marry, and make a life with him together.

Young Chinese girls always find a wealthy “old” man, and don’t mind even being his Nth mistress/wife.

 

What do you think?


Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/
Singles Meetup in Baltimore

Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo

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