One of our friends Paul who is in his early
40’s recently had some friction with his girlfriend.
He didn't invite her to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner although he and she are
in an exclusive relationship. So, she spent a lonely and sad thanksgiving
without him. She may have thought, “Am I really his girlfriend?”
In his defense, Paul said that his
mother told him not to invite his girlfriend to their family Thanksgiving
dinner since he took different girlfriends every year, and last Thanksgiving,
he took his provocatively dressed Russian girlfriend and Paul's mother didn't
approve. Also, he wanted to take this relationship slower and not rush into
anything. His girlfriend seemed unhappy after Thanksgiving and him know that
she wondered why he did not invite her to his family’s gatherings.
Next, he was wondering if he should invite her to his family’s Christmas
dinner. He finally decided not to invite her to his family’s Christmas
gathering either since it was out of state and he would be spending over a week
there to take part in spiritual gatherings afterwards.
Well, my female opinion is that if he had been dating her for more than three months as
his girlfriend, that it would have been preferable for him to invite her and introduce her to his family during the
holidays. Since he did not do this, she found out his true feelings. This is
the way women or men may ‘test’ the merits of a relationship. The holidays is
an especially good time to test how much your partner cares about you if she or
he is willing to invite you to his or her family’s gatherings. If you partner
does not invite you to his or her family’s holiday gatherings, perhaps it is a
sign that he or she does not think much about you and it may be time to end the
relationship.
If Paul’s girlfriend is really looking for a man who is sincere for marriage,
it would be better to say goodbye to him and start to open a new door. If she
really wants to find that special someone and start a family, she doesn’t have much
time to wait for his answer. Men need to understand women’s needs more, and if
you like her and also would like to start a family, show her how much she means
to you by inviting her to your family holiday gatherings. The holidays are a
real test of relationships and will let you know how much your partner cares
about you. So, the holidays can either bring you closer together or tear your
relationship apart.
If your mom is not
ready to accept her as your girlfriend, that is fine. The way around this
conundrum is to celebrate a special Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner for just
you and her, so that she feels special to you and she will be happier than just
staying at home alone.
I told my
husband about the time I was living in Los
Angeles, I had a similar experience as Paul’s
girlfriend. At that time, I had a lonely thanksgiving and Christmas even though
I believed I had a boyfriend. Afterwards, I realized that my boyfriend did not
consider me special enough to invite me to his family’s gatherings, and I ended
the relationship with him. It was hard for me, but I think it was the right decision.
After that I met my husband and I enjoy the holidays with my family now.
My husband told my story to Paul, and said to him, “Women are checking on you
during the holidays!” This a big test of your relationship’s strength.
I hope my
friend Paul will be able to celebrate the holidays with his girlfriend this
year.
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