December 16, 2012

Japanese Women May Test You Especially During the Holidays

One of our friends Paul who is in his early 40’s recently had some friction with his girlfriend.

He didn't invite her to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner although he and she are in an exclusive relationship. So, she spent a lonely and sad thanksgiving without him. She may have thought, “Am I really his girlfriend?”

In his defense, Paul said that his mother told him not to invite his girlfriend to their family Thanksgiving dinner since he took different girlfriends every year, and last Thanksgiving, he took his provocatively dressed Russian girlfriend and Paul's mother didn't approve. Also, he wanted to take this relationship slower and not rush into anything. His girlfriend seemed unhappy after Thanksgiving and him know that she wondered why he did not invite her to his family’s gatherings.

Next, he was wondering if he should invite her to his family’s Christmas dinner. He finally decided not to invite her to his family’s Christmas gathering either since it was out of state and he would be spending over a week there to take part in spiritual gatherings afterwards.

Well, my female opinion is that if he had been dating her for
more than three months as his girlfriend, that it would have been preferable for him to invite her and introduce her to his family during the holidays. Since he did not do this, she found out his true feelings. This is the way women or men may ‘test’ the merits of a relationship. The holidays is an especially good time to test how much your partner cares about you if she or he is willing to invite you to his or her family’s gatherings. If you partner does not invite you to his or her family’s holiday gatherings, perhaps it is a sign that he or she does not think much about you and it may be time to end the relationship.

If Paul’s girlfriend is really looking for a man who is sincere for marriage, it would be better to say goodbye to him and start to open a new door. If she really wants to find that special someone and start a family, she doesn’t have much time to wait for his answer. Men need to understand women’s needs more, and if you like her and also would like to start a family, show her how much she means to you by inviting her to your family holiday gatherings. The holidays are a real test of relationships and will let you know how much your partner cares about you. So, the holidays can either bring you closer together or tear your relationship apart.

If your mom is not ready to accept her as your girlfriend, that is fine. The way around this conundrum is to celebrate a special Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner for just you and her, so that she feels special to you and she will be happier than just staying at home alone.

I told my husband about the time I was living in Los Angeles, I had a similar experience as Paul’s girlfriend. At that time, I had a lonely thanksgiving and Christmas even though I believed I had a boyfriend. Afterwards, I realized that my boyfriend did not consider me special enough to invite me to his family’s gatherings, and I ended the relationship with him. It was hard for me, but I think it was the right decision. After that I met my husband and I enjoy the holidays with my family now.

My husband told my story to Paul, and said to him, “Women are checking on you during the holidays!” This a big test of your relationship’s strength.

I hope my friend Paul will be able to celebrate the holidays with his girlfriend this year.

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