December 13, 2012

If You Are Too Busy, Make Time for Your Relationship!

If You Are Too Busy, Make Time for Your Relationship!

I received an application for a Free Consultation from one of our female members, and she canceled it and told us to postpone.

I said OK, and we setup the appointment for her again.

Actually, it was the third time that she canceled and postponed the appointment for the Skype consultation.

And every time, she says “I am too busy.”

We would like for her to enjoy her membership to the fullest and to support her efforts of creating a wonderful relationship, however, if she is too busy to make time to even have a consultation with us, how can we possibly help her?

I am really concerned about her situation and want to help her. The question for her is how can she make time for a relationship with one of our male members? And, how will she change her busy lifestyle in order to create the time and space in her life that is necessary for a relationship and eventual marriage?

Obviously, marriage is not a simple process; it is one’s lifelong journey of creating a harmonious and fulfilling relationship which you and your partner work together. And, in a marriage you and your partner will encounter relationship issues good and bad perhaps everyday. Therefore, one must allow for the time and space in one life to be married and be fully committed to one’s partner. To have a successful relationship in a marriage, one must place the marriage at the top of one’s priority list in life. Nothing else, including work and friends, may come before one’s relationship. If it does and continues to do so, the marriage will eventually suffer and die.

If you or your partner say excuses like, “I am too busy” at every moment, and the important events between you and your partner is postponed very often, one will become more distant from one’s partner and it will be very hard to keep a strong relationship.

It is with a heavy heart that we informed her, “We are so sorry, but let's make an appointment when you are truly ready to have a relationship and marriage. Good luck on your business.”

By the way, she is a doctor who is over fifty years old and single never married. I understand it is hard to make time to think about her own happiness since she is contributing to her patients everyday.(Her profile was already removed from our member page.)

WHAT I AM GOING TO SAY NEXT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!! I really believe women and men should place a higher priority on love and marriage than on a successful career. I have seen many women who are totally focused on their career, have become very successful, and are in their late 40's or over 50's. And they come to our office and knock on the door and say, “I want to find a happy marriage, and I need your help!” I do not think it is too late, but each passing day makes it more difficult for them to find their ideal partner since most men want to meet younger women.

Think of it this way. When you are dying on your death bed, would you rather look back on life and be thankful for a successful career or would you be thankful for being in a wonderful, loving relationship with your husband or wife???!!! Life is really that simple! Whatever, we put most of our efforts into each and every day is what we become and what our lives become. So, if I spend most of my day working and thinking about my career, my life becomes a working life devoted to my job. If I spend most of my day with my partner or thinking about and totally committed to my partner, my life becomes rich with love and fulfillment with my partner that will last a lifetime. A job can end tomorrow for any reason. A devoted relationship will enrich one’s life much more than any job. However, a relationship takes daily attention or it will wilt and die like a neglected, thirsty flower forgotten by its owner.

So, I tell all my members, “Stop what you are doing right now. Take a deep breath and exhale. Say out loud that you are making a complete commitment to finding your life’s partner in this instant and nothing will change this commitment to yourself. Write this commitment in large letters on a piece of paper and attach it to your bedroom wall where you will wake up and see it every morning and before going to bed at night. Say, “I want a wonderful, loving relationship and marriage now!” out loud and to yourself many times a day. By placing this commitment to creating a fabulous relationship at the top of your to do list, you will be creating affirmative action that will make it happen. That is the secret to life!”

If you don’t act now, life will simply pass you by!!!

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