Help Her Visualize Your Future Together

Our male members often ask us,

“How can I get to be in an exclusive relationship with her?”

In most cases their conversations are not that interesting for her, especially when a male member communicates only his desires and wants and does not truly give of himself and ask what she desires and wants. Men often appear selfish in this way.

Some of our female members say,

“All he talks about is food and he does not include me in his conversation.”

She said their conversation went like this, he said that he knows many popular restaurants in Tokyo, and his topics are always about what he wants to eat when he visits Japan. owever, he never asked her if she wants to eat out with him and enjoy the dinner together.

So, from her perspective, he is not thinking about her that much, he cares more about the food experience and he could be dining out with anyone, not her in particular. This tells her that he cares more about himself. She feels lonely talking to him since he does not include her in his thoughts or tell her he wants to be with her. He is like the most unromantic person you can imagine. However, women still like romance.
And then she stops communicating with him.

Why?

She cannot visualize any future with him. Since he is simply talking about himself, he is sending the message that he does not care about her. Going to a restaurant with him sounds like a lonely and boring chore if all he does is talk about himself.
So, men, listen up!!! If you are guilty of treating your date like an accessory object and nothing more, you have got to change if you want to have a meaningful, long term relationship! If you like her and want to be with her, you have got to communicate this desire to her. Tell her that you want to be with her and what you would like to do together. Tell her what she means to you and why you want to be with her. And, after a date, tell her how you enjoyed your date together and why.

Help her visualize your future date together by sharing your idea of what your date will be like. If you are talking about food, it would be nice to say that you would like to go to a restaurant with her and ask her where she would like to eat. Let her choose a restaurant to really let her feel that you care about her. If you really want to create an exclusive relationship with her, the topic in your conversation with her should be more detailed and related to her. And most importantly, you have to tell her that you care about her and why.

• If you are talking about painting the wall in your kitchen, ask her what color she likes, and let her choose the color she likes. She will feel that you really care about her since this implies that you care about her opinion and that she might use the kitchen in the future.
• If you are talking about having coffee in the morning, tell her that you would like to have morning coffee with her in the future.
• If you are talking about buying a new car, ask her if you can invite her on a driving date to see the blue ocean, and she will be able to visualize a beautiful romantic date with you.

Although it might seem like a small thing in your conversation, including her in your conversation makes a huge difference and shows you care about her and are willing to share and give of yourself. You will make her happy if you let her clearly imagine a wonderful future together with you. And connecting with her in this way in your daily emails will do a lot to build an exclusive relationship with her.

You can start this conversation today! 


Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo

Share the Superbowl with Your Japanese Date

l asked my husband,

"When is the Superbowl?”

He said,

“What are you talking about? It was over a couple of weeks ago. Baltimore won!!! Didn't you know?”

I said, 

“Well, we live in Baltimore, and I remember people were marching in downtown Baltimore with purple stuff. Oh, that’s what that was!”

 

Since, we don’t watch television I was not informed about this huge event. Also, I am not crazy about American football.　 (Actually we do not have a television vecause we feel that television takes our time away from other worthwhile activities we would prefer to do as a family, and provides too much negative news, such as crime, murder, and so on. )
If you are an American football lover, FYI, we are sorry to say that American football is virtually unknown in Japan. Perhaps, most Japanese people think that American football is one of the most barbarous sports in the world. (Sorry!)

When one of our female members first visited her candidate in the US, he took her to a sports bar and he proceeded to watch an entire Superbowl without talking to her. Although she expected a romantic dinner with him, it appeared that he didn't care about what she wanted to do with him while she was visiting him. Fortunately, she is a tolerant person and she liked him a lot. Believe it or not, they actually got married after all. Perhaps, they were able to enjoy watching the Superbowl at home this year.

Anyway, since most Japanese women do not know about American football or that the Superbowl is such a huge national event in the US, it would be nice if you are an American man who enjoys football to teach your Japanese date about the game so that she will be able to enjoy watching the football game with you.

BTW, you may be wondering what the popular sports in Japan are.
Well, soccer and baseball are very popular as you may know. However, the most popular winter sport in Japan which many people find exciting to watch on TV is “Ekiden”, which is a large Japanese marathon race in January where the runners run around Hakone Mountain. The Google Trend Keywords tells that searches for the word “ekiden” on Google increased in Japan in January, while the word “Superbowl”  increased in January in the US.
 
M eet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo

Japanese Women Are Delightfully Surprised When They Receive a Gift for Valentine's Day

 
In Japan, Valentine's Day is a day for Japanese women to give chocolates to men to show their love. However, this holiday functions in the opposite way in western cultures. Also, in Japan, there is no religious meaning to Valentine’s Day, and nobody knows about the history of Valentine's Day and how it started.

Anyways, in Japan, Valentine’s Day is a happy event for couples to spend a romantic time together.
A couple of weeks ago, some of our female members asked me if it would be a great idea to send a Valentine's Day gift to the man whom she is corresponding with in the US. I said that I was not sure about the religious matter in the US, and I recommended that she talk with him about Valentine's Day topic in order to understand his thoughts.

One of our female members shares her story. She recently received a gift and flowers from a gentleman whom she is corresponding with. Since she has never experienced a man sending her a gift in her culture, so she was very surprised and felt so happy. Here are some photos she shared with us.

Her date ordered a delicious cake and beautiful flowers from a company in Japan. He found this company on the internet and was able to place an order since this company has an English language version of their website. Since the company is located in Tokyo, the delivery fee was minimal, saving him expensive international shipping fees or import custom issues.

She gave us a link to www.worldflower.com, this Tokyo gift company and I added the link here. How to Send a gift to Japanese Women
By the way,
She is looking forward to meeting with this gentleman next month, so are we.

If you have been corresponding with a special Japanese woman, it would be a nice gesture to send your Japanese date a gift through this company. She will be delightfully surprised!


M eet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo

How to Send a Gift to a Japanese Woman in Japan

I talked with one of our female members recently, and she said that she received a special gift from a man whom she is corresponding with now.

 

I asked her how he sent her his gift. And this is the company he sent his gift from.
http://www.worldflower.net/shop/index.php?site=w2

World Flower Service

 

This company is located in Tokyo, so you do not have to worry about the shipment fee. Also, they shows who grew their gift flowers. They said that they take care of their flowers with heart. Sounds great!
http://www.worldflower.net/shop/page/farm_all?site=w1

Valentine's Day is coming soon, and sending a gift would be a wonderful idea if you have been corresponding with someone to show how much you think about and care for her.

Meet Japan Lady.com

Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo

Living in a Gun Society – A Message from One of MJL's Members.

Last week I wrote about “Living in a Gun Society” in my blog, and we received a message from one of our male members. With his permission, we would like to share his response on my blog. Please keep in mind that this is one person’s opinion and there are many other viewpoints in the US. Still, “Living in a Gun Society” is “Living in a Whole New World” for Japanese women. We at MJL are neutral on this issue and are merely trying to inform our members about this issue. If guns are important to you, we highly recommend that you and your future wife talk about this topic before starting a committed relationship.

Hi Naoko,

I read your post:

http://meetamericanmen.blogspot.com/2013/01/living-in-gun-society.html

Some parts of this are true.  Guns are legal and widely owned in America.  About half the households in America have guns.  Anyone who is a business owner (like me) in the US probably owns and carries a gun.

A few things are not right in your post though:

We all know about the tragic news in the US of the innocent people killed by a person with many guns...  Many children die every year from accidental gun shootings.

That's not true.  90% of people shot in the US are not innocent.  Most are gang members shot by other gang members.  There are very few accidents or murders committed professional white or Asian people in the US.  Most of the children who die in accidental shootings are living with poor drug addicts or gang members who also have guns.

Many successful, professional men and women here get a permit and carry a gun as normally as you carry a cellphone.

And she felt scared to live with a man with guns. I would feel the same way.

Whether her husband owns a gun or not, she's going to live in a country where criminals own guns.  She should be more scared of these criminals than of her husband.

This happened yesterday:

http://www.wral.com/two-detained-after-raleigh-home-invasion-shooting/11948545/

Can you imagine that?  This is why I own a gun and I want my wife to know how to use a gun too.  The police can't stop crimes like that.  I wish that man had a gun.

Riots near my house, in Los Angeles, in 1992, Koreans use guns to defend themselves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmsKGhLdZuQ&feature=player_detailpage#t=71s

America is a chaotic place with a lot of poor people and racial tension and heavily armed gangs, and the situation is getting worse, not better.  Gun control is not going to take guns away from those gangs, just like drug laws are not taking drugs away from them.  Parts of America resemble third world countries.  I live in beautiful and safe Beverly Hills, but I can drive half an hour away and I'm in a violent third world country that looks like Mexico or Haiti.

Japan has the lowest crime rate in the world.  America has the highest crime rate in the industrialized world.  Japanese women coming to the US need to adapt to a few things:

1.   They will need to learn how to drive.  Yes, they may have a driver’s license in Japan but they don't know how to drive.  Learning to drive is stressful and takes a few years.

2.   They will be coming to a society that's more violent than Japan, and they will need to be ready for that.  That may include having and carrying guns.

I can't think of my wife being assaulted or raped so I want her to be able to protect herself.  I expect her to be ok with me owning and carrying a gun, and ideally she should get training for herself.

This is definitely something Japanese women should ask about before they come here.  They are coming to a different world.

Could you post my response onto your blog post, to give an American perspective?

Thanks,

E  Los Angeles

Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Matchmaking Service for Professional Men & Sophisticated Japanese Women
http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
Singles Meetup in Tokyo