June 11, 2012

Show Affection of Your Japanese Wife/Girlfriend


When my husband, our son, and I were invited to my brother's wedding last March, we flew to Japan and enjoyed having a wonderful time with my family and relatives. A couple of days after, I received some photos which were taken at the wedding ceremony. My sister told me amazingly,

“Your husband told me, you are beautiful.”

I said, “That’s wonderful”.

I understand why my sister was surprised. In Japan, it is rare that a husband proudly introduces his wife to others with the words, “My wife is beautiful.” Probably, she has never heard her husband say, “You are beautiful”, in front of other people. If so, he would be embarrassed.

This is because of Japanese culture. In Japan, when talking with others, they make themselves lower position and show others that they look up to others. Even though you have a beautiful wife, they do not believe that being proud of this fact is polite to others.

There is a word “GUSAI” which means “stupid wife”. Of course, when I checked the word “GUSAI” in a JAPANESE-ENGLISH dictionary, I never found the exact translation of “GUSAI” in English since the word does not exist. However, Japanese men talk like my stupid wife bla bla bla ... and Japanese wives usually don’t protest being called this term! I think that Japanese wives do not protest being called this term is stupid, disrespectful and very unfortunate.

Anyway, I felt happy to hear that my husband told my sister his honest feeling. I think Japanese women will also feel happy when their husbands or boyfriends tell her, “You are beautiful”. One of the main reasons some Japanese women prefer western men as a lifelong partner is because they will express their affection and feelings more than typical Japanese men would.

This YOUTUBE link shows the song, “Wonderful Tonight”, covered by Begin, an Okinawan band in Japan. The music is arranged as an Okinawan version. I hope you enjoy!

I like the dialogue of the couple in this song. Before they go to a party, she asks him, “Do I look alright?”, and he replies, “Yes, you look wonderful tonight”. I feel that he is always caring for her with his abundant love.

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