November 18, 2005

Have You Ever Had a Fateful Meeting?

I received a message from one of our male members. I enjoyed reading it, and I asked him if he didn't mind if I shared it on my blog. He said OK. (Thank you very much.) So, I would like to share his message with you. What do you think?

Hello Naoko,
I have a little bit of time so I can explain what I meant yesterday. In the past people met either directly, not knowing anything about each other, or being introduced by friends, matchmakers, etc. The first contact and the fresh impression was the most important for the connection. Then they dated in normal life and got to know each other as life goes. Now, with internet, everything is reversed. We meet and talk on the net, we know too much about other person before we meet. Women ask sometimes so deep question about current and past life, life and sexual experiences and preferences, financial and family status. We simply know too much about each other when we meet. We expect somebody else than whom we really meet! My experience now, after so many writings and few meetings, here and in Japan, is that it does not matter really what we write, it does matter what and how we do in real life during the meeting. This is so difficult experience. Specially for people with long past, families, responsibilities, etc.

What I think, that people living in close areas, should just make contact using internet and then try to meet right away, before they go into long description of their life. That's what I tried to do talking to women located here in Boston or in general in the East coast area. The drive to New York is just 4 hours. I can go and come back within one day. I never got any response, even from women living within Newton area! I do not understand why. We meet strangers all the time and we talk to them without hesitation, why there is such a big problem in meeting somebody whom we possibly can fall in love with? Maybe "match" service should set up a place where people who are interested can meet and mingle, at least almost local people. There were such, so called "flash" dates, sometimes ago, it was the best as everyone said. You talk for 1 minute with a person and you know if you want talk more. Than you talk in private. Or a small cheese and wine party that are sometimes organized by local matching services. In international dating it is more complicated of course. Somebody has to fly far away. It would be more beneficial if that person could meet two-three persons of the opposite sex during that time. Of course everybody would know that there are more than one meeting. Maybe then there would be no such tension and high expectations, that it is now or never. In a way webcam can be a replacement. But webcam is a dangerous thing in itself and people start getting involved into things they shouldn't before meeting in real life.... I do not want to do such things either. In one word I have no solution. Do you? But we have to try if we want to meet Japanese or Thai or Chinese lady and vice-versa, because I do not know how to find them here. 
With best greetings, (M)

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