This couple made a promise called “A Four Days Rule” in order to create better communication.
What is “A FOUR DAYS RULE” ?
It is an agreement stating that both of them must respond to each others' email within four days even though they are both very busy. If either one does not receive a reply within four days, it is understood that there must have been an emergency.
Since starting “A Four Days Rule” their relationship has been full of compassion and trust as their communication is never interrupted by anything.
Here is a message from the woman who introduced “A Four Days Rule” which I received in March before the earthquake in Japan.
-----------------
Dear Naoko,
Naoko様
It is still cold in Japan even though it is March.
I cannot work outside without a thick winter coat.
Naoko-san, how about where you live?
Has spring come yet?
3月だと言うのに真冬並みの寒さに見舞われている今日の○○○（場所）。
厚手のコートがまだまだ手放せません！
Naokoさんの住む地域にはもう春が訪れましたか？
Let me explain how we started “A Four Days Rule” and I made this rule TODAY, and I would like it with MJL's members.
今日はこのメールのタイトルでもある
“A Four Days Rule” についてお話しさせてください。
実はこれ、私と彼との間で今日決められたルールで、そのいきさつはこうです。
We have been corresponding for a year and half. We have been trying to keep in touch as much as possible, never replying after more than three days.
彼とメールや電話でコンタクトを取り合うようになって1年半。お互いどんな
に忙しくても、3日以上連絡が途絶えた事は今までありませんでした。
However, recently I hadn't heard from him since last Saturday. I just guessed that he was busy working, so I tried to be patient for three days. However, I began to worry after I hadn't heard from him for more than 5 days. I felt like I was loosing control of my mind and I thought that he might have had an accident. And then I decided to send him a text message to his cell phone, and if he didn't answer, I would email Naoko san in order to make sure that he was safe. I thought asking Naoko san was the best thing to do.
でも、先週の土曜日を最後に彼からの連絡がストップしてしまったんです。
3日目までは彼について特に何も心配することなく、
きっと忙しいんだろうな～くらいにしか思ってなかったんですが、
さすがに5日間も音信不通となると私自身も冷静でいられなくなり、
もしかしたら事件や事故に巻き込まれたんじゃないかって
かなり不安になっていたので、今朝彼の携帯にテキストメールを送り、
それでも返信がなかったらNaokoさんに連絡を入れようと決めていました。
彼の無事を確認する術がNaokoさんを頼る事しか思い浮かばなくて...。
After worrying for a while, I finally received a phone call from him this morning. I felt so happy and screamed “YOKATTA!!!!! I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE SAFE!!!” (in Japanese!)
そんなことを考えていたら今日の午前中に彼から電話があったんです。
彼の声を聞いたとき、「よかった～無事でいてくれて！」って
思わず日本語で言っちゃいました。
He sensed my concern and said,
“I am sorry not to have called you for a while.”
私の安堵した様子が彼にも伝わったらしく、
心配かけてごめんねって謝ってくれました。
During a brief conversation, he explained to me how he had been working hard with little sleep the past 5 days. I told him I understand.
この5日間どんなスケジュールで過ごしていたかをメールで教えてくれたのですが、
それはそれはタイトで寝る間もないほど忙しかったようです。
At first, he thought I was overreacting by being so worried about not having a conversation for five days. I felt sad that he didn't understand how I felt. I didn't blame him because I understood that he was busy. Finally, he understood how worried I had been and he thought of how best to prevent this misunderstanding from happening again.
彼にとってはこの5日間なんてあっという間だったんでしょう。
もちろん私は連絡がなかったことで彼を責めたりはしていませんが
（忙しいのはお互い様なので...)、
彼の想像以上に私が彼の身を心配していたことを知り、
申し訳ない気持ちになってしまったようです。
Then he suggested “A Four Days Rule”.
No matter how busy we are, we will always communicate with each other within 3 days of our last communication. If one of us cannot be reached for more than 4 days, we should understand that it is an emergency and we should just wait for contact from the other person.
そこで彼が提案してきたのがこの “A Four Days Rule”。
お互いどんなに忙しくても連絡は4日以上空けないこと。それ以上音信不通が続く
ようなら緊急事態発生である。
We know that we need to make sure we are safe, happy, and in love since it is not easy to keep a good relationship with a long distance. I am glad that he gave us a wonderful idea of
“A Four Days Rule”
「遠距離恋愛で最も辛いのは、会いたいときに会えない事ではなく、
相手の無事を毎日この目で確認できないこと。」
と私が言ったら、彼は即座にこのアイデアを出してくれました。そして彼も同じ気持ちだと。
I think there are many couples who are making an effort to build up their long distance relationships in MJL's clients, Naoko san. Perhaps they would benefit from the suggestion of using “A Four Days Rule”.
Naokoさんのクライアントで遠距離恋愛をしているカップルはたくさんいるかと思いますし、みなさん色々な工夫をしながら愛を育んでいらっしゃるのでしょう。
T and I became mentally stronger after we had committed to following “A Four Days Rule”, and I felt like we had progressed in our relationship. I am so happy now that we are following “A Four Days Rule” and I confident that it will help build up our relationship in the future.
遠距離恋愛は辛い事や寂しいことが多々ある反面、
互いの精神的な繋がりはとても強くなると思います。
T（彼）と私もこれでまた一歩前進しました。
今回の一件で、お互いがお互いの人生の一部になりつつあることも実感出来ましたし、
心配した分収穫も大きかったような気がします。
“A Four Days Rule” しっかり実行してきます！
Thank you!
M(Nagoya, Japan)
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