February 20, 2010

MEETUP in TOKYO – Feedback from a Lady

MJL’s Meetup in TOKYO was held on SAT JAN 23 2010 at our Tokyo office. 10 of our female members and 2 male guests attended. Thank you all who attended! We enjoyed the discussion style meetup we had. Discussion style meetup is greater than speed dating or party style if you want to understand one’s personality deeply in a short time. Japanese women are not used to speaking up, so this discussion style format allowed them to feel comfortable enough to express their thoughts openly. MJL’s meetup is also a great opportunity show their language level and communication skill in a short time. One of the male attendees brought a small gift chocolate with a tulip flower on each box. It was a pretty gift for everyone. Our ladies liked his sensitive personality, and he was asked by some of our female members to start corresponding with him after the meetup! WOW! MJL Meetup really works!!!

The following message is from one of out female members. She attended our meetup in Baltimore last summer, and she is planning to join our meetup in Los Angeles this summer. She is corresponding with one of our male members, and she is positive about her future.


Dear Naoko san,

Thank you very much for holding a meetup in Tokyo. It was a great opportunity for me to exchange ideas about international relationships with other members.
I really enjoyed the conversation we had there.

Since Japanese women tend to be a little bit shy at first, I felt that the meetup started in a rather quiet atmosphere. The good thing was that both of the male members who attended at the meet up had already lived in Japan for a while and were familiar with how Japanese women tend to act at the first meeting.
I thought that they were very good at leading the meeting in more relaxed atmosphere. They broke the ice very smoothly!

It was also very impressive that they often encouraged the female members to speak out more freely. There was one female member who was to visit her boyfriend in the States in a few weeks. She was communicating with her boyfriend every day using Skype for the present. What she told us was that she sometimes feels a little bit of stress when she cannot express her feeling well in English. The advice from the male members was to feel free to speak out and let
the boyfriend try to understand. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

I agree with them!

It’s OK to make mistakes, since English is not our first language. What is more important is that your partner should try to understand you even if your English is not perfect. If you don’t say anything, there’s no way that your boyfriend understand you, right? So I think it was a great suggestion from the male members that female members should speak out more freely when they communicate with their foreign partners.

In my opinion, men need some effort too if they want to succeed in an international relationship. They have to be understanding and patient when they communicate with Japanese women need to understand that expressing feelings in foreign language is sometimes very difficult and challenging. They have to be aware that there also might be a cultural difference in the way of expression.

I think being a good listener is the key to success for men. Luckily my boyfriend is a great listener and he’s also very very patient! He can wait forever until I come up with a word I wanted to say. Even if I cannot find the best way to express my feeling in English, he is good at guessing what I’m trying to say. I realized that Naoko san’s husband is also a good listener.

I like it when men create a comfortable environment and encourage women to speak their mind.

Effective communication is the key to all relationship, and communication shouldn’t be a one-way thing. I think that mutual understanding is very important especially in an international relationship.

MJL’s Meetup is a great chance to exchange ideas about learning effective communication. I recommend MJL members to experience this meetup to get hints for better communication. And I hope that the experience leads them to either a start of new relationships or continuous happy relationships!

Again, thank you so much for the meetup.Please take care and hope to see you sometime again in the future!

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