February 28, 2010

The First Meet-up

My name is Chris, I'm 37 years old, and I have lived in Japan for three years. During my time in Japan I have had some pretty bad luck trying to find a wife, or even a girlfriend, here in Japan. I have met a lot of women through my work and through friends, but nothing has ever developed between myself and a new acquaintance . I have tried everything from multiple dating sites, going to singles parties, and I have spent a lot of time in bars and clubs. For multiple reasons I have just not been able to meet a woman who desires the same future as I do.

Recently while searching on the internet I had discovered a small, but growing company, Meet Japan Lady. So after reviewing their website and the information provided, I signed up as a trial member. One of their best selling points for myself was that they personally interviewed every member, to make sure that they were very serious about getting married. This really impressed me that their was a company that cared enough about their clients to screen out anyone who might not have the correct intentions and feelings. Then I received an email about joining the company on their Meetup.com group page, which was announcing that they were having a meeting of clients who lived in Japan at their Tokyo office. So I sent in my RSVP, and on January 23rd, I headed to Tokyo for my first meeting with other Meet Japan Lady clients.

So I traveled for over 2 hours by train to Tokyo, before arriving at the meeting location. Since the meeting was scheduled a couple of weeks prior to Valentines Day, I had gotten up early, and made Valentines gifts of individual boxes of chocolate with flowers tied to them with silk ribbons. I had made about 20 of them, which was perfect because in the end there were almost as many people who showed up. I was the first member to arrive and for about 5 minutes I was by myself. The room was small and the white painted walls were pretty bare, except for a couple of posters and a clock. Down the center of the room there were some tables with names taped in front of the seats, one table off to the side, a white board, and a small office sofa. I took this time to lay out a box of chocolate in front of each seat and put the extras on the side table. As I finished, three female members walked in, and we started to introduce ourselves.

Slowly people started to arrive, carrying with them different snacks and drinks to share with everyone. Naoko arrived with her husband and some more members, as she said some quick greetings to some of the members. She asked everyone to please feel free to help themselves to the food and drinks everyone had brought, including some refreshments she had supplied. Everyone put together plates of snack foods and poured themselves some refreshments. Once everyone was settled in their chairs, Naoko started the meeting.

Naoko introduced herself, her husband Roland, Mr. Miyata (who runs the Tokyo office), and gave a brief introduction of her company and the services they supply. Her husband Roland then introduced himself, how he and Naoko had met, and shared some of their life after marriage (including a new baby). After Roland had finished, some questions were asked, and then all of the members started to introduce themselves. Each member shared their basic information, their current situation, what they were looking for in a potential spouse, and the future they would like to share with their new spouse. As each member finished, Naoko would always ask if anyone had any questions. Other members always asked questions, including Naoko. This continued until every member had a chance to share themselves with the group, then questions were asked and answered. There were even a couple of members who were actually well into the processes of meeting their potential spouse, and were very helpful by sharing their personal experiences with the services provided. Naoko then finished the meeting off with some more helpful information to help each member. After she was done sharing her useful information, the meeting was finished. So everyone helped to clean up, and then we were given the chance to mingle for a little while. Then, slowly people started to leave.

I attended this meeting as a trial member and I didn't know what to expect. I was pretty nervous because of my track record with meeting women here in Japan. I was also nervous about what others would think and say about my feelings towards my own personal experiences and my thoughts on the cultural differences. And, when I first walked into the small meeting room, I thought it wasn't quite the right setting for people to be sharing such personal feelings and dreams. But all of those first impressions and my personal feelings had changed by the end of the meeting.

They had been changed because of many reasons but most of all from the way the company is run by Naoko. From the very beginning you could tell she really cared about every member, and she really is concerned that members meet a spouse that will be able to take care of them and truly love them. To call this a company makes it sounds like it might be another cold and unfeeling marriage arrangement company, but it is not. It's very comforting that when you have questions and concerns, she is always there to help and answer questions. Since she personally interviews the members, you can rest assured that you are only going to be introduced to like minded women. This is not a dating service, where members are looking for just casual relationships or just rich husbands. The personal touches that her service provides, I have found to be unmatched by other agencies and dating sites.

I had traveled a long way and spent a lot of money on gifts for people I didn't even know, but I would do it all over again if it meant I would have the same experiences as I did with this first meeting. I found the meeting to be very helpful and encouraging. I learned a lot from the other members, including what to expect from a Japanese wife, their expectations from a foreign husband, and many other cultural differences. And during the meeting I could see the other members were just as nervous as I was, but everyone was so kind and caring towards each other, that by the end of the meeting everyone, had a very good, positive, and rewarding experience. Everyone walked out with a smile on their face and the assurance that we are in good hands with Naoko and her services. I honestly can't wait until there is another meeting and I'm very grateful to have found this company.

Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Marriage Introduction Service for Professional American Men

http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
SIngles Meetup in Tokyo

February 23, 2010

Do You Want to Be On TV???


Hello Male Members,

Two TV production companies contacted us last week, one is in Japan and the other is in Chicago. They are looking for couples who want to share their marriage stories on TV ASAP.

Here is the description from the company Chicago. I will send you the producer’s contact if you are interested. (MJL members only.)
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Hello Naoko,

Pleasure speaking with you. Again, I work in development at Towers Productions in Chicago. The company was founded in 1989, and has produced over one thousand hours of factual and entertainment programming for US and international television networks including A&E, Animal Planet, bio. - The Biography Channel, CNN, Discovery Channel, History, ID: Investigation Discovery, Lifetime, MSNBC, NBC, National Geographic Channel, PBS, TLC, Travel Channel, tru TV, VERSUS, WGN and The Weather Channel. Among the Company’s signature series are American Justice and Biography (A&E), The Final Report (National Geographic Channel), Storm Stories (The Weather Channel) and the syndicated comedy series Sports Action Team.

We are developing a television special documenting arranged marriage for a major cable network. We are looking for people who are currently in the matching process or have been married and are willing to share their experience. We want to educate viewers on all aspects of the tradition and incorporate all types of backgrounds. We are looking to tell the stories from the point of view of the
participants. The more variety, the better!

Anyone interested should please email with your name, age, contact info, state/country you live in, and tell us a bit about your experience with arranged marriage (if you are currently in the matching process, how far along are you?). Please attach a recent photo if possible. There is no commitment at this time, this is just a chance for us to get to know a bit about you.

Please feel free to pass along my info to anyone with an interesting story to share. Thanks so much for your time and have a wonderful day.

Casting Director
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The description from Japan is written in Japanese, but I will send you the producer’s contact if you are interested. (MJL members only.)

Thank you for your help!


Baltimore: http://www.meetup.com/Meet-Japan-Lady/
LA: http://www.meetup.com/Singles-LA-Meet-Japan-Lady/
Tokyo: http://www.meetup.com/Singles-Tokyo-Meet-Japan-Lady-MeetUp/


Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Marriage Introduction Service for Professional American Men

http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
SIngles Meetup in Tokyo

February 20, 2010

MEETUP in TOKYO – Feedback from a Lady

MJL’s Meetup in TOKYO was held on SAT JAN 23 2010 at our Tokyo office. 10 of our female members and 2 male guests attended. Thank you all who attended! We enjoyed the discussion style meetup we had. Discussion style meetup is greater than speed dating or party style if you want to understand one’s personality deeply in a short time. Japanese women are not used to speaking up, so this discussion style format allowed them to feel comfortable enough to express their thoughts openly. MJL’s meetup is also a great opportunity show their language level and communication skill in a short time. One of the male attendees brought a small gift chocolate with a tulip flower on each box. It was a pretty gift for everyone. Our ladies liked his sensitive personality, and he was asked by some of our female members to start corresponding with him after the meetup! WOW! MJL Meetup really works!!!

The following message is from one of out female members. She attended our meetup in Baltimore last summer, and she is planning to join our meetup in Los Angeles this summer. She is corresponding with one of our male members, and she is positive about her future.

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Dear Naoko san,

Thank you very much for holding a meetup in Tokyo. It was a great opportunity for me to exchange ideas about international relationships with other members.
I really enjoyed the conversation we had there.

Since Japanese women tend to be a little bit shy at first, I felt that the meetup started in a rather quiet atmosphere. The good thing was that both of the male members who attended at the meet up had already lived in Japan for a while and were familiar with how Japanese women tend to act at the first meeting.
I thought that they were very good at leading the meeting in more relaxed atmosphere. They broke the ice very smoothly!

It was also very impressive that they often encouraged the female members to speak out more freely. There was one female member who was to visit her boyfriend in the States in a few weeks. She was communicating with her boyfriend every day using Skype for the present. What she told us was that she sometimes feels a little bit of stress when she cannot express her feeling well in English. The advice from the male members was to feel free to speak out and let
the boyfriend try to understand. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

I agree with them!

It’s OK to make mistakes, since English is not our first language. What is more important is that your partner should try to understand you even if your English is not perfect. If you don’t say anything, there’s no way that your boyfriend understand you, right? So I think it was a great suggestion from the male members that female members should speak out more freely when they communicate with their foreign partners.

In my opinion, men need some effort too if they want to succeed in an international relationship. They have to be understanding and patient when they communicate with Japanese women need to understand that expressing feelings in foreign language is sometimes very difficult and challenging. They have to be aware that there also might be a cultural difference in the way of expression.

I think being a good listener is the key to success for men. Luckily my boyfriend is a great listener and he’s also very very patient! He can wait forever until I come up with a word I wanted to say. Even if I cannot find the best way to express my feeling in English, he is good at guessing what I’m trying to say. I realized that Naoko san’s husband is also a good listener.

I like it when men create a comfortable environment and encourage women to speak their mind.

Effective communication is the key to all relationship, and communication shouldn’t be a one-way thing. I think that mutual understanding is very important especially in an international relationship.

MJL’s Meetup is a great chance to exchange ideas about learning effective communication. I recommend MJL members to experience this meetup to get hints for better communication. And I hope that the experience leads them to either a start of new relationships or continuous happy relationships!

Again, thank you so much for the meetup.Please take care and hope to see you sometime again in the future!



Meet Japan Lady.com
Personalized Marriage Introduction Service for Professional American Men

http://meetjapanlady.com/

Singles Meetup in Baltimore
Singles Meetup in Los Angeles
SIngles Meetup in Tokyo

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