February 27, 2003

Ta Ma No Ki Shi

I got an interesting message, from one of our members, that I want to share with everyone. What is your opinion ?
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Romantic Reality TelevisionRecently, in the USA, so-called "Reality" television has become popular. A couple years ago we had "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" This resulted in a phony man and woman marrying, only to divorce a few days later. Last night, the television show: "Joe Millionaire" came to a (near) conclusion. In this show, twenty beautiful women are flown to a French castle to meet Evan, who they are told just inherited fifty million US dollars. The truth is Evan is not rich and earns 2,250,000 JY per year, as a construction worker. After many dates, all the time pretending to be rich, he chooses one "lucky" woman. He then tells her he is not rich and was lying all the time. He begs her to stay with him, anyway. Well. she does and the television network gives the two of them one million US dollars. How strange! >>> In America, women who look for a man, just for his money, are known as "Gold Diggers." Is there a word for these women, in Japan?The next big reality television show will be "Married By America." In this show, people have potential mates screened by relationship experts, family and friends, while America watches. Eventually there will be only two choices, and at this point the television viewers decide whom the person marries. It should be interesting. Silly, perhaps, but interesting.
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Yes, we have that word "Tama No Koshi". TAMA means "the great fortune", and KOSHI is a kind of vehicle. In the Japanese HEIAN period (more than 1000 years ago), the brides were carried at the marriage ceremony by a gorgeously embellished KOSHI, So, it is called "Tama No Koshi Ni Noru" or "Getting on the great vehicle." It is like the man picks up the woman in a Ferrari. Throughout history and in all countries, every woman dreams of becoming a Princess, a Cinderella, a Pretty Woman. But this TV program tells us it's more than that. If the relationship with your soul mate is based on shared values, rather than money, life is wonderful, isn't it?

Question: What conditions are most necessary for getting married?

February 14, 2003

GIRI-CHOCO ( Obligatory Loveless Chocolate )

If the Japanese lady, in the next cubicle, gives you Valentine's chocolate, it may not mean she's enamored with you. We Japanese can't help giving gifts at every opportunity. The formality of giving is more important than the gift itself. If the recipient's gift is less than spectacular, that is what will be expected in the future. If no gift is given, then the relationship is permanently over. So, gift giving customs are forever lasting so as not to break the harmony. That's the Japanese way! Furthermore, most Japanese don't know who St. Valentine is. Anyway, I wish all men have a wonderful Valentines day with your steady girlfriends.

Question: Because 60% of Japanese men don't like sweets, we have, instead of chocolates, heart-shaped rice crackers ( O-SENBEI )at the Valentines shops. Do you prefer chocolates?

February 06, 2003

Single Life Without Interference

I shared the story about "Independence" last time, now I will tell you about dependency in Japan. My friend Naomi is a single, 39 year old career woman living with her parents. Of course she pays her parents room and board, but she can afford to travel abroad several times a year, to eat out whenever she wants, and to buy anything she likes. She seems to enjoy her life. These women are plentiful, in Japan, and are known as the Louis Vuitton type.
Not only single women but also single men, and even married couples live with their parents. They save money and they do this at their parents suggestion. What a mutual interdependence !I have been living apart from my parents for 10 years. My mother still asks me "Why don't we live together? When will you move home?" Lately she has gotten into the habit of asking: "Do you have a boy friend ? Why don't you introduce him to me if you have a boyfriend ? When will you marry ? You should marry soon or you will become to old to have babies. Shall I help to look for a soul mate for you ?" I say "Thank you mom, but I don't need your help. Please, let's not discuss this anymore. "I am a little bit disgusted. I live alone because I want to escape from this intrusive prying.
I know an old widowed woman in France. She told her daughter to get out of her house when the daughter was 20 years old. She never puts her nose into anybody else's business, and nobody gets into hers. Now she is 80 years old, she lives alone, but she still sometimes travels abroad, she eats when she is hungry, she sleeps when she is sleepy. I am truly envious because she seems natural and free.

Question: Would you agree to live with your parents, or those of your wife-to-be? Is this a good way to save money ?

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